Friends, many of you have, no doubt, had the following experience. You find yourself in a relationship with someone very attractive person, beautiful in the classic sense according to "abstract universal human qualties." You find yourself working very hard to get that person to be a better person. You work mightily to unearth the noble person that you know is in there "deep down inside."

What you were trying to do was make the person as beautiful on the inside as he or she was exquisite to you on the outside. But you found that your efforts were wasted on individuals whose fundamental characters were highly dubious at best, and tending toward the sinister at worst. But you would not have worked so hard if you had not been physically attracted to the person first.

When we are attracted to a person we hope that he or she is as desirable on the inside as they appear to us on the outside. Either that or we try to make the person over into something we think best fits their angelic beauty. But the initial pull is always physical, follow me? So when we find that the person who is outwardly beautiful to us proves to be as "good" on the inside, without any intervention from ourselves, then this can be the basis of Desire, at least, on the starting point for Love.

"Spirits" or "hearts" do not fall in love with each other, bodies do. It is always like this. It can be no other way, in my opinion. And so too, it was with the young woman in our case study.

Suppose the young man, the "neo" "little person" had not been murdered, and he and his fiancee had been able to get married. The durability of their love would still be under threat, by viral agents of a specific nature, a process I've been describing all along. But this is a dynamic at play in all relationships, at least in their formative stages, more or less.

Sidenote: Why do so many Hollywood marriages crash and burn?

They speak of the strain of conducting the personal relationship in the public eye. Its hard being them, these celebrities followed around by the paparazzi taking their pictures and the celebrity journalists writing their stories. They say that living in a "fish bowl" undemines any relationship.

But why should this be so? Why should other people observing you and your partner affect how the two of you relate to each other? What precisely does one have to do with the other?

Its about everything we've been talking about. We must know that that the act of seeing or observing is not a passive activity. We affect what we see; we affect it by the act of seeing it (Pragmatism). So the Hollywood faces the process of imposition of dark motives, very much more intensely and yes, constantly that you and I do, with the pictures (sometimes no doubt digitally manipulated for greates effect) and stories in the tabloid literature, and the presentations on television on the tabloid expose shows.

The process of "viral infection," I've been describing sets in and pretty soon, if you're one or the other in one of these Hollywood relationships, you do not know where the sweet, loving person you married or did whatever with, ends and where the bastard "everybody" says he is begins. Finally you "don't know" the person anymore. The relationship is dissolved and thus another dream is shattered.

And now to return to our case study. Everybody tells her constantly how altruistic she is to give her love to "someone like that." In time she may come to see herself as a missionary of love to the less fortunate without even consciously formulating such a conceit. However her behavior toward her husband changes in a way that he feels is patronizing. She of course does not know what he's talking about........ and thus another dream is shattered.

wingedcentaur