Question: What are the ideological roots of patriarchy?

Answer: A system of belief that we, men, had been very much interested in maintaining.

Question: Which is?

Answer: The belief, to be held by our womenfolk, that we, men, were more capable, courageous, noble, intelligent, heroic, altruistic, and the like, by far, than we really are. The belief that we are flawless.

Question: How did and does this play out in the workplace? What is behind the sexual harassment women face there and what about the ghastly statistics we hear about concerning women and rape in the military?

Answer: These are the actions of a very small minority of men, hopefully, which are nevertheless, an expression of the general resentment of men that our women now see us at home and at work, and therefore see us in all our inglorious bumbledom, our flaws, our imperfections, our various failings. Work is no longer a sacred space for men. We can take this further: If we cannot be angels, then we will be demons! After all, who was Satan but previously an angel called Lucifer, pushed out of heaven, preventing from exercising the "good" as he saw it.

Question: What about adultery?

Answer: This dynamic definitely brings into focus one of the submerged reasons why men cheat on their wives and girlfriends. Imagine a fifty-three year old white man who is a photographer. He is married to a woman whose a licensed CPA. They have been married for decades and have four grown children, who are out of the house, so the couple may be feeling "empty house" syndrome.

His wife loves him. She may even still be In-Love with him, if he's lucky. She respects him. She admires him. She tolerates him in all his bad habits (i.e., leaving toenail clippings all over the place, snoring and farting in his sleep, etc.).

But one thing she is not is IMPRESSED with him. That is to say, that she does not look at a man to whom she's been married for twenty five years with the same wide-eyed wonder and amazement that she may have done some thirty five years ago...

when he was graduated in the top five percent of his class...

when he was the ace reporter on the school newspaper....

when he was the best player on the chess team, the secret weapon of the debate team, and when he was captain of the golf team...

when he was student body treasurer...

when he was voted Most Likely to Succeed...

..... but a twenty year old, buxom, corn-fed, as they say, blond young woman up from Nebraska, working as a bartender, working and waiting for her "big break" as an actress/model..... might!

It is not primarily the flesh he wants or needs but a new altar, a new person to worship his idealized self image.

Question: Women also commit adultery.

Answer: And for many reasons, as men do. But I will say, as I have said before, that women - according to family therapist, John Bradshaw, are particularly prone to what he calls Narcissistic Deprivation. A woman sufferer of ND did not get the non-judgmental, uncritical, unconditional "love" from her own mother that she required. She did not look into her mother's face, as an infant, and see - herself, as is necessary. Instead she looked into her mother's face and saw her mother looking into her baby's face in search of herself. She might spend herself looking for herself in many ways throughout her life and this may have some bearing on her relationships and sexual behavior.

Women are more vulnerable to this than men, because they do not have the degree of workplace validation, and other forms of external justification, available to men. This narcissistic deprivation of women is paralleled by the male need to have someone, at least one person on this planet believe the he is INVINCIBLE.

Interviewer: Thank you very much for talking with us.

Guest: The pleasure was all mine.

wingedcentaur